Focus on the Flowers

“The earth laughs in flowers” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

For the past two months, I’ve been going through a hard time. I’ve felt completely broken and hopeless. My faith, my love, my mental fortitude, my career, and my hope in the future, in goodness, in people, and in life have been destroyed.

I believe in and live by this idea that good people eventually win at life, even if it’s not in the way the world sees as “winning.” You know “the good guy defeats the bad guy in the end” trope. You reap what you sow. You get what you put in. What comes around goes around. Karma. Call it what you will, I’ve believed in it my whole life. I’ve watched it happen over and over again, and I’ve lived my life accordingly.

I remember when I was 9 reading my bible and telling God that I wanted to live my life in a way that didn’t hurt other people. I’m not saying I’m innocent or perfect. I have hurt people during my life, but I’ve actively tried to make sure my life choices and actions don’t hurt anyone. In doing so, I’ve put myself on the backburner. To rub dirt in the self-sacrificial wound, this year has shown me that my idea of “karma” or “you reap what you sow” doesn’t always happen like I thought it did. My personal situation, the current political climate in the U.S., AI data centers using up our water, and a certain redacted file situation with the DOJ have all got me discouraged.

Good people sometimes live horrible lives, and bad people sometimes get by with everything. The only constant seems to be that we all eventually die, and in death, God will judge us for our journeys on earth, our choices, and our actions will finally have consequences. We either get to have eternal life or eternal death. The only thing that is guaranteed is that God loves us and heaven is our reward.

Depression and hopelessness can feel all consuming. Every time the world feels like this, I escape to my grandma’s house. She lives in this old house in the country surrounded by pastures and cows. There is a raccoon that is always in this one tree. The birds always nest in a specific spot on the porch. The dogs are always there to greet you when you pull in. You may see deer or hogs or birds on the pond. There are always bees too- wood bees, bumblebees, honeybees, wasps, pretty much every type of bee you can think of. They’re my grandma’s “pets.”

The days are long and lazy and quiet. The world slows down and stills, especially around sunset, when the entire world gets painted orange and pink and purple. The living room and dining room face west, so the entire house is bathed in sunset colors. It’s what I believe heaven will look like. (It’s actually what I saw my own soul look like when I almost died, but that’s for another blog post).

Today (Sunday), I escaped to her house. I visited with my grandpa sitting under the carport, where we chatted about the weather and upcoming rain. We drank a coke and ate ice cream on the table where I ate my first meal as a baby. The kids played in the playroom while I rocked in my grandma’s rocking chair. I listened to the cows’ mooing, and the birds’ singing songs. We checked out the lilac bush I planted for my grandma. We trimmed up a bush where we’ve found a rattlesnake recently. I would do anything to make sure my grandparents are safe, healthy, loved, and cared for. Afterall, they have been there for me when no one else was.

My roots are in that house, in that land, and inside my grandparents’ hearts and souls. Home isn’t a place- it’s the people in it. They soothe my soul and make life worth living. When they’re gone, I know pieces of me will die with them. I dread that day more than anything. I try to focus on the present, cherishing the time I have with them right now. God has been working on me to enjoy the present moment instead of focusing on what has been or what will be.

Life is meant to be enjoyed. We were never meant for all the bad things this earth gives us as consequences for our sins. Sometimes we have to struggle with the consequences of the sins of others too. That’s when it can seem unfair, but we have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

When it was time to go back home, we took our time enjoying the flowers along their dirt road. Instead of the negatives, I choose to focus on the flowers. Please enjoy the photos Darling Husband and I took at the end of this post.

I know that this post is very short, and I want to leave you with a word that I feel fits the lesson I’ve gotten from this: Selah. Selah means to take a pause during worship for reflection on the words that were just sang or spoken. God laid the word “Selah” on my heart in 2025. “Selah” became an action I tried to implement into my daily life.

To me, Selah is like mindfulness. It’s focusing on the five senses, the here and now, and being completely present in the moment as it happens. Selah explains exactly how my afternoon went. Selah is why I feel better tonight than I did before my visit to my grandparents’ house. Selah is the space between two things, actions, events, or words. The space where reflection and contemplation help us to sort through our emotions and thoughts. Selah is an action, an emotion, and a noun all at once.

I leave you with this bible verse to reflect on this week. Isaiah 40:8 “the grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever.” Nothing is permanent but God.

Please enjoy these photos and don’t forget to implement “Selah” into your lives this week.

Much love and blessings to you and yours,

Darling Mess

P.S. These photos are my original work. They are copywrited like this blog. Please do not share them without my permission and without sharing my information.